Why Can’t My Parent Sleep? A Guide to Deep Sleep in Older Adults
August 4, 2026
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⚡ Quick Answer
- Sleep naturally becomes lighter, shorter, and more interrupted with age, but older adults still need 7 to 9 hours.
- Common causes of nighttime waking include medications, pain, inactivity during the day, late naps, and screens at bedtime.
- Research links regular exercise to better sleep quality in older adults.
- Talk to a healthcare provider if sleep problems are persistent, worsening, or affecting daily functioning.
If you've started noticing that your mom is awake every time you check on her at night, or your dad says he was "up half the night again," it can be difficult not to worry.
Maybe your parent falls asleep easily but wakes repeatedly. Maybe they wake at 4:00 a.m. and cannot get back to sleep. Or perhaps they seem to spend plenty of time in bed but still complain that they are exhausted the next day.
As an adult child, your first thought may be: Is something wrong?
The reassuring answer is that sleep naturally changes as we age. Older adults still need roughly the same amount of sleep as other adults, generally seven to nine hours but sleep often becomes shorter, lighter and more interrupted.
That doesn't mean poor sleep should simply be dismissed as "part of getting older."
Understanding what's happening can help you recognize which changes may be related to normal aging, which everyday factors may be making things worse, and when it may be worth having a conversation with your parent's healthcare provider.
What Happens to Sleep as Your Parent Gets Older?
Sleep isn't one continuous state.
Throughout the night, the brain moves through different stages of sleep, including lighter stages, deeper slow-wave sleep and REM sleep. These stages repeat in cycles.
As people age, the amount of time spent in different sleep stages changes. Sleep tends to become lighter and shorter, and waking during the night becomes more common. Older adults may also start going to bed earlier and waking earlier than they did when they were younger.
So when your parent says, "I don't sleep the way I used to," they may be accurately describing a real age-related change.
What is deep sleep?
Deep sleep is a stage of non-REM sleep during which the body is in a particularly restful state and it is harder to wake someone.
Deep, slow-wave sleep tends to decline with aging. This can be one reason an older adult's sleep feels lighter or more easily interrupted.
But aging is rarely the only factor involved.
If your parent is sleeping poorly, it's worth looking at their entire day rather than focusing only on what happens after they get into bed.
Why Does My Parent Keep Waking Up at Night?
There isn't one universal explanation. For many older adults, several small factors combine to disrupt sleep.
1. Medications may be affecting their sleep
Older adults are more likely to take multiple medications because they are more likely to be managing several health conditions.
Some medicines can interfere with sleep, while others may contribute to daytime sleepiness that changes the normal sleep-wake schedule. The National Institute on Aging notes that older adults are more likely to take medications and have health conditions that affect sleep.
If your parent's sleep changed after starting a medication or changing a dose, don't stop the medication on your own.
Instead, encourage them to discuss the change with their doctor or pharmacist.
2. Pain or health conditions can interrupt sleep
Think about how difficult it is to sleep when your back hurts or you cannot find a comfortable position.
Now imagine dealing with that discomfort night after night.
Pain, illness and other health conditions can make sleeping more difficult. Sleep disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea and restless legs syndrome also become more common with age.
This is one reason persistent sleep problems deserve attention rather than automatically being attributed to aging.
3. They may not be moving enough during the day
Sometimes the problem at night begins during the day.
Your parent may have become less active gradually.
Perhaps walking became uncomfortable. Maybe they stopped driving and don't get out as frequently. Maybe they're worried about their balance. Or perhaps retirement simply removed much of the movement that used to be built naturally into their day.
A routine that once included commuting, errands, stairs, shopping, housework and social activities can slowly become much more sedentary.
That matters because regular physical activity can support sleep.
A 2023 systematic review and meta-analysis involving 13 studies and 2,612 older adults found that structured physical exercise programs improved overall sleep quality and sleep efficiency compared with control groups.
An overview of 20 systematic reviews also concluded that exercise has a positive effect on sleep quality among older adults.
Movement isn't a guaranteed solution to sleep difficulties, but it can be an important part of a healthy sleep routine.
4. Afternoon naps may be interfering with nighttime sleep
If your parent sleeps poorly at night, they're understandably tired the next day.
So they nap.
Then nighttime arrives, and they're not as sleepy.
They stay awake longer, sleep poorly again and need another nap the following afternoon.
A cycle can develop.
Short daytime rest isn't necessarily a problem for everyone, but late-afternoon or evening naps can make nighttime sleep more difficult. The National Institute on Aging recommends avoiding naps later in the day when nighttime sleep is a concern.
5. Screens may be part of the bedtime routine
Television, tablets and smartphones can easily become part of an older adult's evening routine, particularly if they live alone.
Your parent might tell you, "The TV helps me fall asleep."
But leaving screens in the bedroom may not be helping the overall sleep routine.
The National Institute on Aging recommends avoiding televisions, computers, phones and tablets in the bedroom as part of healthy sleep habits for older adults.
Consider helping your parent create a calmer transition into bedtime instead, reading, listening to relaxing music or following another consistent routine they enjoy.
How Can Physical Activity Help Older Adults Sleep Better?
This is where daytime routine becomes especially important.
Exercise isn't only about building muscle or improving balance.
Research increasingly suggests that regular physical activity can also support sleep quality in older adults.
A 2025 review of 26 randomized controlled trials involving 2,189 older adults found significant improvements in subjective sleep quality following exercise interventions.
More recent research has continued to support the relationship. A 2025 network meta-analysis examining 62 randomized controlled trials involving more than 5,000 older adults found that exercise improved sleep quality, with combined aerobic and resistance exercise ranking particularly well among the approaches studied.
That doesn't mean your parent needs an intense workout.
Walking, resistance exercises, mobility work and other appropriate forms of movement can all contribute to a more active day.
The goal isn't to exhaust someone so they "have to sleep."
It's to support the body's normal daily rhythm while also working on strength, mobility and physical confidence.
Why Supervised Exercise Can Be Helpful
You might be thinking: "I'd love Mom to exercise more, but I'm nervous about her doing it alone."
That's understandable.
An older adult who has been inactive, has balance concerns or isn't confident with exercise may not know where to start. Handing them a list of exercises from the internet isn't always enough.
This is where supervised, personalized exercise can be valuable.
A qualified exercise professional can consider the person's current abilities and build movement into their routine gradually. Having scheduled sessions also creates something many older adults lose after retirement or a change in health: structure and consistency.
At HomeStretch Active Living, our approach is built around helping older adults stay strong, steady, active and independent through personalized, exercise-focused support.
HomeStretch grew from founder Melissa Gunstone's experience as a kinesiology graduate working with older adults who often left traditional post-surgery programs with exercise sheets but without the ongoing support and confidence needed to keep progressing independently.
That same philosophy continues today: exercise isn't simply a list of movements. Consistency, confidence, encouragement and connection matter too.
HomeStretch services remain exercise-focused and evidence-informed, with an emphasis on strength, balance, mobility, confidence and independence rather than promising medical outcomes.
7 Ways You Can Help Your Parent Build a Better Sleep Routine
If you're worried about your parent's sleep, you don't necessarily need to overhaul their entire routine overnight.
Start small.
1. Encourage regular daytime movement
Help your parent find movement they enjoy and can perform safely.
That could mean walking, strength exercises, balance-focused activities or a structured exercise program appropriate for their abilities.
2. Keep sleep and wake times consistent
Encourage your parent to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day, including weekends.
A regular schedule helps reinforce the body's sleep-wake rhythm.
3. Look at their daytime routine
Ask yourself:
Are they spending most of the day sitting?
Are they getting outside?
Have they stopped doing activities they previously enjoyed?
Sometimes improving nighttime sleep begins with creating a more active, engaging day.
4. Review medications with a healthcare professional
If sleep changed after a medication was introduced or adjusted, encourage your parent to discuss it with their physician or pharmacist.
Never stop or change prescribed medication without professional guidance.
5. Reduce late-day naps
If your parent needs to nap, consider whether long or late naps might be affecting nighttime sleep.
6. Create a screen-free wind-down period
Instead of falling asleep with a phone, tablet or television, encourage a quieter routine before bed.
Reading, gentle relaxation or listening to music may help signal that the day is ending.
7. Keep exercise earlier in the day
Regular exercise is encouraged, but timing matters.
The National Institute on Aging recommends regular exercise while avoiding exercise within roughly three hours of bedtime.
When Should I Be Concerned About My Parent's Sleep?
Occasional restless nights happen to everyone.
But ongoing sleep problems shouldn't automatically be accepted as normal aging.
Consider encouraging your parent to speak with their healthcare provider if they regularly struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep, experience significant daytime sleepiness, snore loudly with possible pauses in breathing, experience unusual movements during sleep, or if poor sleep is noticeably affecting their daily functioning.
Sleep apnea, insomnia and movement-related sleep disorders become more common with age and may require professional assessment.
A simple sleep diary can also help.
For a couple of weeks, your parent can record:
What time they went to bed
Approximately when they fell asleep
How often they woke
What time they woke for the day
Whether they napped
Whether they exercised
When they consumed caffeine or alcohol
The National Institute on Aging recommends this approach because it can help reveal patterns and provide useful information to discuss with a healthcare professional.
Better Sleep May Start Long Before Bedtime
When your parent isn't sleeping, it's easy to focus entirely on nighttime.
Maybe they need a different pillow.
Maybe the bedroom needs to be darker.
Maybe they should go to bed earlier.
Those things may help, but sometimes the more useful question is:
What does their day look like?
Are they moving?
Are they getting regular activity?
Do they have a routine?
Do they feel physically confident enough to stay active?
For many families, helping an aging parent sleep better isn't about finding one magic bedtime solution. It's about supporting healthier patterns throughout the entire day.
Regular physical activity is one piece of that picture and it comes with additional opportunities to work on strength, balance, mobility and confidence.
If your parent has become less active and you're unsure how to help them start safely, HomeStretch's team of kinesiologists provides personalized in-home exercise support for older adults, helping seniors stay active and independent at home.
Stay Strong. Stay Steady. Stay Independent.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes. Sleep patterns naturally change with age. Older adults generally experience lighter, shorter and more interrupted sleep, even though they still typically need about seven to nine hours of sleep per night.
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Frequent waking may be related to normal age-related sleep changes, pain, medical conditions, medications, insomnia, sleep apnea, movement disorders or lifestyle factors. Persistent sleep difficulties should be discussed with a healthcare provider.
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Yes. Research from systematic reviews and randomized trials indicates that structured exercise programs can improve sleep quality in older adults. The type and intensity of exercise should be appropriate for the individual's abilities and health circumstances.
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Most older adults still need approximately seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Aging changes how people sleep more than it changes how much sleep they need.
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Author Bio - Melissa Gunstone, BSc, Kinesiologist
Melissa Gunstone is the founder of HomeStretch, a kinesiologist with years of experience supporting seniors across Canada. Her mission: to give older adults safe, effective, and individualized movement programs, from in-home training to community-based senior fitness classes and to build a nationwide movement that elevates the role of kinesiology in healthy aging.
